I think some of the rewarding parts about it, since it’s in hindsight now and my mother has passed, the rewarding part is just to know that I was with her through the most important times of her golden years. And looking back on how I dealt with taking care of her and getting to know her a little bit differently, those are really good memories, that I’m so glad that I was able to be with her during those last, that last year or so. I know at the time, it didn’t really feel that way, but now that I’m looking back, I just feel so fortunate that I was with her.

The small wins you get here and there, it made a big difference, you know? When they remember their favorite thing to do or thing to eat, and you get it for them and they’re super stoked, you just—you know, you remember, good job, you know? You take that. That kind of helps mentally.

Think those moments of just, you know, just seeing him smile and laugh and just remembering some of the things that he has done that just brought such great joy to him. I think just seeing those glimpses every now and then.

I would let them know that if they need any help, because I’ve gone through it, that please, ask me anything, let me know whatever I can do. If you’re wondering about how to cope with something, pick up the phone and talk to me. I’m here for you, I’m your friend, because I’ve been through it. I don’t know if that’d be helpful, but that’s what I would do.

…and really, you need support. You need to reach out and try. Everybody is financially different, but you have to have help. You can’t get through this just by yourself. And you have to take care of yourself.

Definitely take time out for yourself. Because I was so burnt out.

Being a caregiver, it’s not an easy job. It’s physically taxing, it’s emotionally taxing. It’s not for the faint of heart some days.

All credit to my mom, because she saw what happened with her mother or his mother years before, and when the house is not in order, and what I mean by that is like insurance, all, everything, financials, savings, everything associated with getting your house in order. So, you know, you’re not going to catch it all, but getting things lined up ahead of time was really, really helpful.

Probably also like not to take moments for granted kind of thing to where I wish we would’ve spent a little bit more time, to make a little bit more memories, instead of trying to hold on.

I’d say like, try to be mentally prepared. I know it’s a hard thing to explain to people, but yeah. I don’t know. Have compassion, be mentally prepared, remember the good times, you know. And if that’s your loved one, do the right thing.

Not their fault, they don’t mean it… You really have to get tough skin…

The diagnosis did set things in motion… I think that diagnosis confirmed things, and we just had to get them to a safer place. So, they ended up in a really good care home facility that gave them more, a safer place to live.

My sister and I tag-team a lot of, get two brothers, they can barely take care of themselves, so it was her and I for the most part… but through this, we’ve been able to come together, which has been—it’s too bad that it took that to bring us together.

…the whole family needs to be involved.

I know for my family initially, I mean, there was a brief period of relief, because we finally could put a name to what was happening. To get it officially diagnosed, I guess it’s better to know that they’re having trouble remembering things as opposed to, why are they doing things that appear to make no sense.

I think for me, for my grandma, it was a relief to know that, okay, like somewhat of a relief. Like okay, we know something’s going on, versus, I was just kind of speculating.

…And I would document this, just because it was part of our life together, and then I noticed that when years went on and I asked the same questions, there was a remarkable change, and that’s when I decided to go forth and speak to doctors about it to see what their opinion was.

So, my mom is in a support group for caregivers or, you know, for people with dementia or Alzheimer’s, and my mom has been in that, and it’s been so wonderful for her, because she’s learned a lot and she also can connect with people that are going through exactly what she’s—you know, different things, but just to have that community. And so, she’s always sharing with me.

I have a neighbor who is going through the same thing with his mother, so just talking with him and sharing some of the experiences back and forth from him, bouncing ideas off of each other. Hey, I did this, oh, hey, that sounds like something I might want to try or maybe we should talk to family about that. So just talking to other people anywhere has really helped.

I believe there is a lot of research on things that you can do to prevent Alzheimer’s, and there’s beliefs—and dementia, and that it is often preventable through lifestyle changes.

My father-in-law is … doing everything that he can to try to keep his brain active and he’s pretty open with it. He doesn’t have a stigma… So he feels it, and he’s trying to do his best to fight against it.

Everybody knows somebody that’s either going through it or taking care of somebody or has somebody in their family going through. So, I don’t see it as a stigma. I think it’s just another fact of life that everybody has accepted.